Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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