He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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