What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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