doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize