My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize