Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
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The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
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I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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