it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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