where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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