His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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