HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize