Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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