We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
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whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
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Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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