That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
im six kinds of drunk right now
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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