He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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