Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
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You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
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Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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