I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
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My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
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Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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