If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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