That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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