The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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