This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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