Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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