I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize