i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's shark week go big or go home
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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