Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
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she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
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I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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