im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize