My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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