Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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