if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
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She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
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By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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