JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
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Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
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I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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