im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize