walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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