So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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