what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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