i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
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I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
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You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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