Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
