Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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