I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
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I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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