I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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