remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize