why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize