i don't like sucking hair
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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