DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
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Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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