he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize