If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
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I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
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I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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