Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize