My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize