look no pants
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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