I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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