with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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