I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
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I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
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I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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